Be my last chapter.
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My one & only, Gbk. ♥♥
Farah'Nurhidayah my pet dog ♥♥♥
I am not a perfect lover. I say what's on my mind. I start fights.
I get jealous and sometimes I don't want to understand things to avoid pain. I am demanding. I am childish. I am moody. But there are three things that I love about me. I am faithful, sweet and when I chose him, it is only him.
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Friday, March 23, 2012, 7:52 AM
Time can never erase all that we had.
If I had to choose between loving him & breathing, I'd definitely use my last breath to tell him that I love him.
Holding on to someone whom we clearly know hurt us before, isn't because our hearts can't free itself from misery. In fact, it's ourselves who foolishly choose to convince ourselves, they still love us. Eventually, in the long run, the one who suffers is us. Wake up and face reality, that the ones who've hurt us once, would do it again. It's pointless to love someone who doesn't feel the same way as you do.
If I have another chance,I will rewind back to the time when I made mistakes. I swear I will stop right on the spot & mend all those mistakes so that things definitely wont turn out this way.
These few days dont disturb me,I swear I cry easily these few days.
I feel very dumb,I feel very stupid,I feel very afraid,I feel very sad.
I rather be the one suffering,just leave me alone.
They say it takes time to get over serious relationships but I can't even get over it.
What they says, it takes time to get over serious relationships.
Even if you can, I can't.
I made a big mistake but now I got the consequences of my actions.
Until your back,I'll never have the satisfaction.
I never meant to hurt you.
Is there anything that I can do to make it up to you?
I'd do anything baby because I'm sorry,I never meant to make you sad.
Every minute that passes,I miss you more and more.
I'm sorry.
I need you back right now, gbk.
If I had to choose between loving him & breathing, I'd definitely use my last breath to tell him that I love him.
Holding on to someone whom we clearly know hurt us before, isn't because our hearts can't free itself from misery. In fact, it's ourselves who foolishly choose to convince ourselves, they still love us. Eventually, in the long run, the one who suffers is us. Wake up and face reality, that the ones who've hurt us once, would do it again. It's pointless to love someone who doesn't feel the same way as you do.
If I have another chance,I will rewind back to the time when I made mistakes. I swear I will stop right on the spot & mend all those mistakes so that things definitely wont turn out this way.
These few days dont disturb me,I swear I cry easily these few days.
I feel very dumb,I feel very stupid,I feel very afraid,I feel very sad.
I rather be the one suffering,just leave me alone.
They say it takes time to get over serious relationships but I can't even get over it.
What they says, it takes time to get over serious relationships.
Even if you can, I can't.
I made a big mistake but now I got the consequences of my actions.
Until your back,I'll never have the satisfaction.
I never meant to hurt you.
Is there anything that I can do to make it up to you?
I'd do anything baby because I'm sorry,I never meant to make you sad.
Every minute that passes,I miss you more and more.
I'm sorry.
I need you back right now, gbk.
Signed off, Nichole.L
Wednesday, March 14, 2012, 11:03 AM
This post is dedicated to my ex boyf, the guy whom I used to love a lot, the guy whom I love right now.
Tired of life, tired of love, tired of studies that brings me stress, tired of being stress, tired of being stress that brings me unhappiness, tired of being unhappy, tired of being unhappy that leads me to pain, tired of pain, tired of pain that makes me wanna die, tired of this dying feeling because I feel like dying. A feeling of dread.
After all, you're the one I cried for the most, the one I loved the most, the one I've been through with the most, the one that taught me what was happiness like, the one who wiped all my tears when I'm in fear, the one who always makes me fall and brings me back up on my feet again, butvividly in my mind/still lingers deep down my heart, you were the last one who twisted the whole story around & changed my happy ending. I can't sleep without you, can you? I can't be happy without you, can you? I can't survive without you, can you? I know you can.I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's you that I'm missing. It's like my brain is wired up and there's a glitch in my system. You're like a drug and now my blood won't stop itching. I'm in critical condition, someone let me out of this prison. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me lately. I could of sworn that you are still my baby. I'm on a merry-go-round, going around, driving me crazy.I don't wanna give up on you. It's all my fault. I'm the trouble maker.I'm always making you angry. But, I didn't mean it.. :(
No matter what I do, you'll never believe it. What must I do in order to make you believe? Kill myself? Stab my heart? My body isn't perfect. I don't walk with confidence. I get into fights with my parents and my friends. Some nights i rather stay home than to be out partying. I cry over the smallest things sometimes. There are days that i get through with forced smiles and fake laughs. Sometimes i try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not. There are some nights i cry myself to sleep. I constantly think i'm not good enough.
I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I’m sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I’m sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I’m sorry if I come off as annoying. I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I’m sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I’m sorry if I say things I don’t really mean. I’m sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don’t really care. I’m sorry if I come off as being clingy, but its just me missing you.
It takes more than a million people to complete the world, but it only takes you to complete mine.but you're gone.
Eyes full of tears , heart full of pain.
A thousand of sorry and apologies can never mend yr broken heart.
I'm very very sorry. Really very sorry, I rly don't mean it.
I know tht my words are harsh, I'm straightforward this time round.
No words could have pen down my feelings right now.
I'm such a whore to have repeat the same mistakes time and time again.
So what if i look as though i'm very strong on the outside.
But does anyone understand how much all these is gonna kill me.
I detest people who play on people feelings all the while, cause i really hate it.
It's not easy to fall in love with someone and then in the end know that you got cheated isn't it.
All the sufferings etc inside me, how many people know what happen before.
How many people make the effort to make me feel happy?
Why those that ought to treat me good didn't make me in a dilemma.
Why, all those that shouldn't treat me as good was along there for me.
What's wrong with human's thinking. Why is it so complicated to understand.
I just hate it when stress comes around me when everything doesn't goes in my way.
Sorry, Not as though it was meant to be my fault.
I’m sorry.
I know i’m silly.
Iknow i do silly and stupid stuff always.
But , I love you always.
Hi bk, uhm. No, it's burger king. Lol. Uhm, how long have we known each other? August 2010 - March 2012. Okay, it's been 2 years+. Amazing ;O
August 2010, I fell for you. September 2011, I fell for you again. March 2012, I'm still in love with you. Don't avoid me, do you know the feeling of getting avoided by the person you like? I guess you don't. I've never cried so much for a guy before, I swear. Nowadays, I tend to cry easily.
Tired of life, tired of love, tired of studies that brings me stress, tired of being stress, tired of being stress that brings me unhappiness, tired of being unhappy, tired of being unhappy that leads me to pain, tired of pain, tired of pain that makes me wanna die, tired of this dying feeling because I feel like dying. A feeling of dread.
After all, you're the one I cried for the most, the one I loved the most, the one I've been through with the most, the one that taught me what was happiness like, the one who wiped all my tears when I'm in fear, the one who always makes me fall and brings me back up on my feet again, butvividly in my mind/still lingers deep down my heart, you were the last one who twisted the whole story around & changed my happy ending. I can't sleep without you, can you? I can't be happy without you, can you? I can't survive without you, can you? I know you can.I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's you that I'm missing. It's like my brain is wired up and there's a glitch in my system. You're like a drug and now my blood won't stop itching. I'm in critical condition, someone let me out of this prison. It's like my mind is playing tricks on me lately. I could of sworn that you are still my baby. I'm on a merry-go-round, going around, driving me crazy.I don't wanna give up on you. It's all my fault. I'm the trouble maker.I'm always making you angry. But, I didn't mean it.. :(
No matter what I do, you'll never believe it. What must I do in order to make you believe? Kill myself? Stab my heart? My body isn't perfect. I don't walk with confidence. I get into fights with my parents and my friends. Some nights i rather stay home than to be out partying. I cry over the smallest things sometimes. There are days that i get through with forced smiles and fake laughs. Sometimes i try to convince myself that things are okay when they're not. There are some nights i cry myself to sleep. I constantly think i'm not good enough.
I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I’m sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I’m sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I’m sorry if I come off as annoying. I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I’m sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I’m sorry if I say things I don’t really mean. I’m sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don’t really care. I’m sorry if I come off as being clingy, but its just me missing you.
It takes more than a million people to complete the world, but it only takes you to complete mine.but you're gone.
Eyes full of tears , heart full of pain.
A thousand of sorry and apologies can never mend yr broken heart.
I'm very very sorry. Really very sorry, I rly don't mean it.
I know tht my words are harsh, I'm straightforward this time round.
No words could have pen down my feelings right now.
I'm such a whore to have repeat the same mistakes time and time again.
So what if i look as though i'm very strong on the outside.
But does anyone understand how much all these is gonna kill me.
I detest people who play on people feelings all the while, cause i really hate it.
It's not easy to fall in love with someone and then in the end know that you got cheated isn't it.
All the sufferings etc inside me, how many people know what happen before.
How many people make the effort to make me feel happy?
Why those that ought to treat me good didn't make me in a dilemma.
Why, all those that shouldn't treat me as good was along there for me.
What's wrong with human's thinking. Why is it so complicated to understand.
I just hate it when stress comes around me when everything doesn't goes in my way.
Sorry, Not as though it was meant to be my fault.
I’m sorry.
I know i’m silly.
Iknow i do silly and stupid stuff always.
But , I love you always.
Signed off, Nichole.L